Becoming My Own Best Friend

There are three things in this life that I am sure I could not live without: Twitter, ASMR videos, and my friends.

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undateable in high school, and my friends were all I had. While that’s not entirely true (I wasn’t undateable,只是低估了),我很感谢,我在我的青春期缺乏经验的约会让我学会在这样一个年轻的年龄友谊的价值。现在,我在我20多岁,我认识到,导航友谊一样可以导航的浪漫关系一样困难。

The Flux of Friendships

之后我大学毕业后,我发现自己不得不比以往更加导航在友谊的变化。在一年的时间内,我的两个最好的朋友已经搬到了这个国家的另一面,这让我的方式我从来没有经历过完全感到孤单。

My friendships have always served as a sort of cornerstone to lean upon. If a dumb boy had broken my heart, or if I’d lost a job, or if I was just feeling lost in general, I’d always comfort myself by thinking, at least I’ll always have my friends.

As much as I’d like to believe that friendship is this unshakable, unconditional, unchanging thing that lasts forever, this, unfortunately, is not the case.

There is certainly a lot of truth to this—my friendships haven’t ceased simply because my friends moved away. I also still have a ton of friends who live in the area, which I’m incredibly thankful for. However, when my two best friends moved to different states, I gained this new awareness that friendships, like life in general, are continually in flux. 

像我愿意相信友谊是这个不可动摇的,无条件的,不变的是永恒的东西,这一点,不幸的是,事实并非如此。朋友改变。朋友之间的动态变化。朋友结婚。朋友搬走。友谊不了了之。有时,友谊就这样结束。

Cultivating Friendship—With Yourself

关于友谊这个新认知,使我懂得培养自己与友谊的重要性。我知道这听起来有点暗淡,这样的想法,你不能完全依赖于任何人,但你自己,但自己培育的友谊没有来自一个地方的悲观或恐惧遗弃的。相反,它应该来自一个地方庆祝自主权和培养自我宣传。

感觉奇怪表明,一个人可以“朋友自己。”这立刻浮现在脑海中的图像是独自坐在一个咖啡馆与乔单杯和鼹鼠皮笔记本的一个人。而我个人而言,我独奏喝咖啡的忠实粉丝,我承认这样的图像,甚至措辞如何“成为朋友的自己”听起来有点吸引力那些对频谱的特性比较外向结束。 

Being friends with yourself is about showing up for yourself even when others do not or cannot show up for you.

对于我来说,朋友与自己有较少单独做花时间,而且更多的是与培养一个安全的空间给自己,自己-A内的过程,根据定义,看上去每个人都不同。是朋友自己是所有关于设法满足最适合你的方式自己的需要。它是关于显示出来为自己,即使别人不或不能出现在你。

大处着眼,培养与自己友谊已经有很多做与信任自己,按照我自己的本能。有时,这意味着说不做,甚至当每个人都希望我回答是肯定的。这意味着越来越熟悉小的声音在我的头,使基于什么是最适合我的决定。

尽管在过去,我在朋友,家人和恋人依偎在生活的方向,因为我学习做一个更好的朋友给我自己,我已经找到了成为我自己的指南针。这并不意味着我不再寻求从我所关心的,这将是去了解生活很孤独的,也是不明智的也是人民的意见和智慧!相反,我正在学习如何让自己说了算在我的生活,认识到在一天结束的时候,我必须决定我自己的路电源。

规模较小,是与自己的朋友已经看了很多像这样的小事情:每天早晨让我的床;洗我的车我出城去之前; postmating当我生病的辣拉面;买自己,当我有一个艰难的一天素食主义者巧克力曲奇。它在说,“我不想谈,现在,”或“嗨,我们可以谈论这个权利吗?”这是穿着我喜欢的鞋子,即使它们是很荒谬的前瞻性。并且它只要住在瑜伽中的孩子的姿势,因为我需要(对于我来说,是一个 very long time.)

I’m learning that I can give the same nurturing energy to myself that I seek from others.

很多这些东西是,在过去,我可能会渴望通过合作伙伴或亲密的朋友做出手势。虽然我已经学会了如何诚实的朋友,约我需要加以培育的途径浪漫的利益,我也在学习,我可以把同一个培育能源对自己说,我从别人寻求。

The Permission to Get Started

如果你有一个亲密的朋友最近搬走,正在经历一个朋友分手,或只是感觉在你的生活中缺乏真正的友谊,我鼓励你想办法,你可以更好的朋友给自己。问问自己:我现在需要的是什么?我怎么可以提供我自己?什么是小方法,我今天可来样自己?什么事情我通常会问别人,我能为自己做什么?该过程可能会觉得在一开始有点寂寞,但如果努力来自于一个地方行使自主权,而不是一个地方的悲观情绪中,它成为一个非常快乐和充实的过程。

Of course, being a good friend to yourself will look different for each individual. But that’s the beauty of it—you get to decide how you want to treat yourself. And in doing so, we inevitably teach others how they should treat us, too.


What are some ways you practice being a good friend to yourself? Let us know in the comments below! 🧡


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Celeste M. Scott is the Social Media Coordinator at The Good Trade. She is a writer and photographer who is passionate about film and Internet culture. She can often be found sifting through the racks at her local Savers. You can find her work on her website and Instagram.