Why You Don’t Have To Feel Guilty About Being The "Busy" Friend

Redefining “Busy”

I hate the b-word. And it’s not the b-word you’re thinking of. I’m talking about “busy.”

被视为忙,我意识到,未必是坏事。忙碌影射重要性。和重要性暗示力量。一个甚至可以得出这样的结论被称为“忙”是一种恭维。具有地方丰富的是,人们看到的是,但如何你需要衡量是世界第一。甚至我可以承认,这是一个积极的事情。

Being labeled as “busy” evokes an overwhelming sense of guilt that hangs over my head like a dark cloud.

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Objectively, I am a busy person. However, being labeled as such evokes an overwhelming sense of guilt that hangs over my head like a dark cloud. I find myself experiencing this guilt, particularly when it comes to friendships.

我喜欢我的朋友圈要深,不宽的意思,我宁愿有真正亲密的朋友比多个表面层次的友谊了一大圈小圈。这听起来像一个完美的简单的方法去交朋友,直到你已经长大了,上过大学,并落户到-毕业后都生活在同一个城市,这是因素,事实上,情况对我来说。 

多年来,我做了这么多的新人这么多有意义的联系,那它往往很难给每个人的关注,我认为他们应该得到的。问题不在于我有太多的朋友,那就是我是一个人类与人类的局限性。我的意思是,只有这么多的咖啡日期,我可以适应前和下班后之前,我毫不夸张地失去了我的脑海。

Redefining What It Means to be a Busy Woman

When a woman is dismissed as being “too busy,” it is usually because she spends her time in ways that advance her career or doing things and being with people who energize her.

我的字“忙”的问题在于与它相关联的内涵,特别是提及妇女。因为刚开始的时候,当神把夏娃在伊甸园的花园是亚当的“帮手”,妇女被预计将保持身体和情感在任何给定的时刻。一个甚至不必坚持人类开始认识到经常潜期望,妇女必须是有用的这一特定视图。同时有一些美丽的东西在培育素质妇女似乎天生具备,无可否认这是如何的期望往往威胁到我们的自主权。当一个女人被斥为是“太忙”,它通常是因为她花时间在推进她的事业或做的事情,是与谁激发她的人的方式。

当别人叫我在过去的“忙”,我在的方式,一方面是不屑一顾使用它注意到人,而在另一方面,自最小化。当有人对我说,“你现在总是那么忙,”情似乎破坏意图我已经投入的关系,直到这一点。同日而语,这似乎暗示重要性的差距,把我很不舒服基座上,我从来没有要求要上。虽然我承认,这是很少(如果有的话)的人的意图,被称为“忙”难免让我感到内疚,有点于防守。 

如果我说我没上过这段对话中,过去的另一边我会撒谎。它不觉得伟大的,当我需要一些时间与朋友真的很,但他们太预订,使我的计划。在那些时刻,我很想让我和项目有关我在他们的生活到情况的重要性我的不安全感。人们很容易认为,“如果他们真的关心,他们会 make time for me.” (Which, upon reflection, is actually a pretty unfair approach to the situation.)

It’s in these moments that my higher self kicks in and puts me in check. I realize that I should be secure enough in the friendship to know that my friend’s busyness is not a reflection of where I rank in their lives. And I’d hope that my friends feel the same security when I’m the one who’s too busy to make plans.

Moving from Guilt to Gratitude

There’s no need to feel guilty about the abundance of connections and opportunities available to me at this point in my life.

即使有这样的认识,我一直在社会化的内疚的感觉,当我忙着不散的开销。它采取一种有意识的转变我的心态认识到,忙是不是感到内疚。通过改变我如何看待忙,我已经意识到,没有必要感到内疚丰富的连接和提供给我的机会在我的生活这一点。相反,我应该庆祝我做了连接,并在激励我的方式管理自己的时间。

虽然我性格内向往往颇受友谊我已经积累了数量心慌,我承认它是有这么多人在我的角落的人之间分裂我的时间有什么祝福。考虑到这一点,我认识到,兑现我在我的生命使这些有意义的联系,我也必须滋养自己与独处的时间,我与其他人花时间在需要存在。

我已经学会起搏我的应酬,而不是简单地伸延过长自己当成别人安抚大家的一种手段的重要性。这意味着我必须没关系的事实,我可能只看到某些朋友每月一次,或每几个月。这也意味着特意雕刻出独处的时间为自己,当我知道我需要它。程度较重这意味着取消计划,如果我感到不知所措(but doing so thoughtfully, of course.)

Additionally, I think it’s important to let your friends know how important they are to you on a regular basis. So that when life gets to be a bit hectic, and you can’t spend as much time with a friend as you’d like, they’re not left wondering whether or not you care about them.

Becoming the Best Busy Friend

Being busy isn’t something to feel guilty about, but rather an indication of abundance in your life

Lately, I’ve been putting this into practice by sending a simple text whenever a friend crosses my mind. A simple, “Thinking about you!” or “I really appreciate your friendship!” message is a great reminder to the people in our lives that we really do care about them, even amid the craziness.

The next time someone says to you, “I feel like you’re too busy for me nowadays!” take it as an opportunity to remind them how important their friendship is to you. At the same time, take a moment to remind yourself that being busy isn’t something to feel guilty about, but rather an indication of abundance in your life.

And lastly, to my friends reading this who I haven’t seen in a while, I love you. Let’s put something on the calendar soon 🧡


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Celeste M. Scott is the Social Media Coordinator at The Good Trade. She is a writer and photographer who is passionate about film and Internet culture. She can often be found sifting through the racks at her local Savers. You can find her work on her website and Instagram.